Note 13 at 1 Tim. 4:12: If you were to diagram this sentence, "you" would be the subject of this sentence. Paul is telling Timothy that he is the one who is responsible for how others view his authority.

Of course, there are always some people who are going to be upset, but to a large degree, we influence other people's opinion of us. Paul goes on to instruct Timothy about how he can gain the respect of those to whom he ministers (see note 15 at this v.).

Note 14 at 1 Tim. 4:12: This scripture makes it clear that Timothy was a young man at the time Paul was writing this epistle. That still doesn't give us a clear sense of his age because the Jews didn't consider a boy to be a man until the age of 30. Most scholars believe Timothy was in his 30's at this time.

The principle that Paul is explaining is that maturity is not always associated with years. Out of all the people Paul had trained, Timothy's heart was the closest to that of the Apostle Paul's (Phil. 2:20). Timothy was the one anointed by God to carry on the work of the church at Ephesus, and he had to fight any cultural barriers that would cause the older people not to respect his authority because of his young age.

Note 15 at 1 Tim. 4:12: Paul didn't write to the people at Ephesus about not despising Timothy's youth; he wrote to Timothy about not letting others despise his youth. This shows that we are responsible to a large degree for other people's opinions about us (see note 13 at this v.). People who lack character often sit around and complain about the way others view them. People with strong character change the way others view them.

Paul tells Timothy how to get others to respect his authority. It can all be summed up in the word "example." Paul tells Timothy things he can do that will manifest his godly character and authority to others in such a way that will make them respect the position in which God has placed him.

Often those in positions of authority demand respect just because they hold the office. Yet they don't live a life worthy of respect. It is true that the office a person occupies demands respect, regardless of his personal conduct. Those who fail to live up to the character of their office alienate their followers and open themselves up to many unnecessary problems.

Paul is telling Timothy to earn the respect of the people by living godly, then no one will be able to criticize him. The following instructions are how Timothy is to achieve this lifestyle. These are classic instructions on godly living that all leaders should try to follow.

Note 16 at 1 Tim. 4:12: No one should ever expect others to follow him if he doesn't have his mouth under control. The first thing Paul instructs Timothy about is his words. Lies, exaggerations, deceit and malice are not becoming to anyone, but are disastrous to leaders. He who conquers his tongue can conquer anything (Jas. 3:2), and he who has not conquered his tongue, will face difficulties in leadership.

The political system that is in place today where lies are acceptable, reveals how far our leaders are from being godly leaders. This should not happen in the church.

Note 17 at 1 Tim. 4:12: The second thing Paul instructs Timothy about to gain the respect of those he ministers to, is his lifestyle. That's what the word "conversation" means (see ref. d at this v.). The NIV translates this word as "life."

Godly living that earns respect has to be more than words. It must include the things we say backed up by consistent actions. How you act speaks so loud that the world can't hear what you say.

Note 18 at 1 Tim. 4:12: The Old English word "charity" denotes God's kind of love (see ref. e at this v.). Paul spoke to Timothy about his words (see note 16 at this v.), his actions (see note 17 at this v.) and now Paul is dealing with Timothy's motives.

Paul revealed in 1 Corinthians chapter 13, that speaking in tongues; operating in faith; moving in the gifts; and even giving all that we have; are nothing without God's kind of love. Somehow, the attitude of our hearts is communicated regardless of our words or actions.

This is especially important for a minister. Regardless of our words and demeanor, the motives of our hearts come through. We can preach on love and make it look and sound good, but if there is bitterness or unforgiveness in our hearts, then people will perceive that. We must minister with spirit (charity), soul (conversation), and body (word).

Note 19 at 1 Tim. 4:12: The word "spirit" is used here in the sense of "mental disposition" (Strong), not as a part of our being, as in spirit, soul, and body. Paul is telling Timothy to let his attitude be an example to those to whom he ministers.

The NIV omits the word "spirit" from Paul's list, yet attitude is vitally important in our lives. Every employer has employees who may do their jobs well, but their attitudes aren't good. This is not the person who gains the respect of his boss and is promoted. Attitude is often the determining factor in our lives. Our attitude either inspires others or causes them to reject us.

Note 20 at 1 Tim. 4:12: Any Christian leader who is hoping to influence others has to be strong in faith. When life's problems come, whether we respond in faith or fear speaks volumes to those who watch our lives.

Note 21 at 1 Tim. 4:12: Vine says the Greek word "HAGNEIA" that was translated "purity" "denotes the chastity which excludes all impurity of spirit, manner, or act." This describes what many people today would call integrity.

Even people with pure hearts still sin and make mistakes, but they don't lie about it or try to cover up what they've done. They are transparent. They don't ascribe blame to someone else for what they've done; they accept responsibility. A person with a pure heart is humble and receives mercy from others because they've given mercy to others (Jas. 2:13).