Note 1 at Col. 3:18: Paul's letter to the Colossians and his letter to the Ephesians are very similar. They cover some of the same points and therefore can be compared to gain a clearer understanding of what Paul is saying (see OVERVIEW in THE INTRODUCTION TO THE EPISTLE OF PAUL THE APOSTLE TO THE EPHESIANS, p. 1092). In Ephesians 5:21 Paul begins his instruction about submission in marriage by saying, "submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God." Submission in marriage is not one sided (see note 36 at Eph. 5:21, p. 1132).

The truth and benefits found in the Bible on godly submission have been so distorted and perverted in our "Christianity" today, resulting in many people being hurt who now are closed to any type of submission. That's an overreaction. This is just one scripture that commands submission. There are others.

This verse places limitations on submission in marriage, which if understood, will stop the extreme abuses that have caused some to throw out the truth with the error.

First, Paul says women are to submit to their own husbands. Paul is specifically speaking of a wife submitting to her own husband (see note 2 at 1 Cor. 11:3, p. 917). He is not saying that women in general are to submit to men in general (see notes 2-3 at Eph. 5:22, p. 1133 and notes 22-24 at 1 Cor. 14:34-36, pp. 951-952). This has been one of the misinterpretations of scripture on submission that has caused many problems.

Secondly, this verse says that the wife is to submit only "as it is fit in the Lord" (see note 37 at Eph. 5:21, p. 1132, see note 4 at Eph. 5:22, p. 1133). This limits the submission of the wife to her husband (there is a difference between submission and obedience-see note 7 at Acts 5:29, p. 598), and this submission is in the physical realm only (see note 7 at Eph. 5:24, p. 1134). Paul is not instructing the woman to commit sin if her husband wants her to. That is a gross misunderstanding of what true submission is and that extreme view has damaged many people.