Note 15 at Eph 5:28: Paul used the way Jesus loves us and views us, as an example of how husbands should love their wives. The Lord doesn't see the church as glorious because of its actions (see note 12 at Eph 5:27). He is seeing by faith. Likewise, men ought to love their wives in the same way. Bad actions on the part of the wife are not an excuse for the husband to walk out of love.

Note 16 at Eph 5:28: This chapter gives us two examples of how marital love should be. Paul used the example of Christ's love for His bride, the church (Eph 5:25 and 29), and the example of a man's love for his own body (Eph 5:28-29 and 33). A man may not like the way he looks or may hate his personality, but he does cherish his body. He'll go to great lengths to cool his body when it is hot and warm it when it is cold. He avoids pain, and he is well aware of how he indulges his appetite. He ought to love his mate with such devotion.

Note 17 at Eph 5:28: There is one major difference between a man loving his own body, and a husband loving his own wife. To love one's own body is natural; to love one's own wife is not. The reason that loving one's wife is unnatural is because the essence of sin is selfishness.

The prophet Isaiah tells us, "All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way" (Isa 53:6, emphasis mine). Because of sin, love for someone else is abnormal. Most of us have not grown up with godly examples of loving others, so we just naturally continue on in the selfishness that seems to come effortlessly. Good intentions won't break this tendency. God's kind of love must be learned. It requires God, the author of love (1Jo 4:8), to teach us to love others the way we naturally love ourselves.