Note 15 at Eph. 5:28: Paul just used the way Jesus loved us and views us as an example of how husbands should love their wives. The Lord doesn't see the church glorious because of our actions (see note 12 at v. 27). He is seeing by faith. Likewise, men ought to love their wives in the same way. Bad actions on the part of the wife are not an excuse for the husband to walk out of love.

Note 16 at Eph. 5:28: Ephesians 5 gives us two examples of how marital love should be. Paul uses the example of Christ's love for his bride, the church (Eph. 5:25, 29) and the example of man's love for his own body (Eph. 5:28-29, 33). We may not like the way we look or we may hate our personality, but we do cherish our body. We go to great lengths to cool our body when it is hot and warm it when it is cold. We avoid pain, and most of us are well aware of how we indulge our appetite. We ought to love our mate with such devotion.

Note 17 at Eph. 5:28: There is one major difference between a man loving his own body, and a husband loving his own wife. To love one's own body is natural. To love your wife is not. The reason that loving your wife is unnatural is because the essence of sin is "selfishness."

The prophet Isaiah tells us, "All we like sheep have gone astray, we have turned every one to his OWN WAY" (Isa. 53:6). Because of sin, love for someone else is abnormal. Most of us have not grown up with godly examples of loving others. So, we just naturally continue on in the selfishness that seems to come effortlessly. Good intentions won't break this tendency. God's kind of love must be learned. It requires God, the author of love (1 Jn. 4:8) to teach us to love others the way we naturally love ourselves.