Note 1 at Eph. 6:1: Notice the difference between the instructions to the wife in Ephesians 5:21-33 and these instructions to children. Children are to obey. Wives are to submit. Submission and obedience are not always the same (see note 2 at Eph. 5:22, p. 1133).

Even the obedience commanded here has the limitation that children are to obey their parents "in the Lord." This doesn't mean that only children with believing parents have to obey. No. It means that children don't have to obey any instruction which would take them out of the Lord's will (see note 2 at this verse).

Note 2 at Eph. 6:1: This phrase "in the Lord" is very important. This is not teaching blind obedience, even to the point of obeying ungodly commands. Children are only to obey their parents if what their parents are demanding is "in the Lord" or inside of the will of God. However, this needs further explanation.

This exemption clause does not give the child the right to disobey any instruction which he or she feels isn't right. Only in matters where the parent would be instructing the child to commit flagrant violations of clearly stated commands of God's Word would the child be justified in not obeying. Stealing, lying, murder, sexual acts and such like would be things that no child has to do even if his parents told him to do so.

Jesus gave us a good example. When He was twelve years old, He stayed behind in Jerusalem when His parents left so that He could talk to the elders of the Jews. Three days later His parents found Him and mildly scolded Him for not going with them. He replied that He had to be about His Father's business (Lk. 2:42-51). Jesus was Mary and Joseph's Creator. Surely, if any child ever had the right to disobey his parents, it was Jesus. He was totally and completely in His Father's will. Yet, verse 51 says Jesus made Himself subject unto them and obeyed.

The parents were the ones who were wrong in this situation. Jesus was doing His Father's will but they didn't understand. They were trying to fulfill their roles as parents out of a pure heart. However, since it wasn't time for Jesus to start His ministry yet, He submitted unto them.

In cases where children may feel their parents are demanding more than what is right, they should ask themselves some questions. Is what they are being asked to do morally wrong? Even if the children are being denied some privilege unjustly, will it cause them to sin if they obey? If the answer is no, then obedience to their parents has to be a higher priority than just getting their way, even if their own way would have been right in that situation.

Children in today's society may find this a hard pill to swallow. Few, if any, of their peers will agree, and social agencies will back children's rebellion nearly without question. But God gives a promise of blessing to those children who obey the spirit of this command, which far outweighs any temporary advantages the child might gain through disobedience.

Note 3 at Eph. 6:1: The reason for this command about children obeying their parents is because this is right. It is just the proper thing to do. God established order. Bad government is better than anarchy. If all children were free to decide for themselves what was right and wrong, they would never be "potty" trained. They would all be malnourished and they would never go to school. No work would ever get done. It would just be all play. And the world would not last very long. God says it is good for children to obey their parents in the Lord (see note 2 at this verse).