Audio commentary on this verse

Note 3 at Rom. 12:10: The word that was translated "brotherly love" here in Romans 12:10 is "philadelphia" meaning "fraternal affection" and comes from the Greek word "phileo." The Greek word that was translated "kindly affectioned" in this verse is a compound of "phileo" and "storge" meaning "cherishing one's kindred."

There is much confusion on the subject of love today because we have only one English word (love) to describe a broad aspect of meanings. For example, if I said, "I love my wife, I love apple pie, and I love my dog," obviously I am not talking about love in the same degree or definition.

In the New Testament, there were three major Greek words that described the various kinds of love. One of these words "eros", was not actually used in the New Testament, but it was alluded to. The following is a brief definition of these three major words.

EROS-sexual passion; arousal, its gratification and fulfillment. The Greek word is not used in the New Testament, probably because its origin came from the mythical god Eros, the god of love. It is inferred in many scriptures and is the only kind of love that God restricts to a one-man, one-woman relationship within the bounds of marriage (Heb. 13:4; Song 1:13; 4:5-6; 7:7-9; 8:10; 1 Cor. 7:25; Eph. 5:31).

PHILEO-friendly love based on feelings or emotions. We could describe PHILEO love as "tender affection, delighting to be in the presence of; a warm or good feeling towards someone that may come and go with intensity."

This verb with its other related Greek words are found around 72 times in the New Testament. Although PHILEO love is encouraged in the scripture, it is never a direct command. God never commands us to PHILEO love anyone, since this type of love is based on feelings. Even God did not PHILEO the world. He operated in AGAPE love towards us.

The following are some scriptures in which PHILEO or a form of it is used (Jn. 5:20; 11:3,36; 12:25; 16:27; 20:2; Acts 28:2; Rom. 12:10 [kindly affection]; 1 Tim. 6:10; 2 Tim. 3:4; Ti. 2:4; 3:4; Heb. 13:1; 3 Jn. 1:9; Rev. 3:19).

AGAPE-God's type of love; the highest kind of love. AGAPE is "seeking the welfare or betterment of others even if there is not affection felt" (a paraphrase of Happiness Explained by Bob Rigdon). AGAPE love does not have the primary meaning of affection nor of coming from one's feelings.

Jesus displayed this AGAPE kind of love by going to the cross and dying even though He didn't feel like dying. He prayed, "O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless, not as I will, but as thou wilt" (Mt. 26:39; Mk. 14:36; Lk. 22:41-43; Jn. 18:11). Jesus sought the betterment of you and me, regardless of His feelings.

We, too, can AGAPE love our enemies even though we don't have a warm feeling of affection for them (Lk. 6:35). If they are hungry we can feed them; if they thirst we can give them a drink (Rom. 12:20-21). We can choose to seek the betterment and welfare of others regardless of how we feel.

The Apostle John said, "Let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth" (1 Jn. 3:18). Jesus referred to His love for others (Jn. 13:34; 15:9,12), but He never directly told anyone, "I love you."

Note 4 at Rom. 12:10: The dictionary defines "preferring" as "to choose as more desirable; like better." That means, this verse is admonishing us to desire the welfare of others more than our own; to like others better than ourselves. That is an awesome command that is only obtainable through God's supernatural love.

If this very simple yet very profound truth could be understood and applied, then strife would cease (Prov. 13:10), the world would see Christianity as never before (see note 3 at Jn. 13:35, p. 484), and we would discover the true joy that comes from serving someone besides ourselves (Mt. 10:39; 16:25).