Breath of heaven
Hold me together
Be forever near me
Breath of heaven
I had just had my second child during the Christmas season, and this particular song by Christian artist Amy Grant spoke to me. In it, she sings from the perspective of Mary on her way to Bethlehem shortly before giving birth to Jesus. She sings of her trip and the growing. But then she says, “And I wonder what I’ve done.” Although this is just a songwriter’s interpretation, this line made me wonder: Why would Mary question what she had done?
Mary had done nothing wrong. She didn’t ask for this. In fact, the only thing she did do was receive the Word of God, which was the right thing to do.
Although I was not carrying the Son of God, I realized that most expectant mothers must go through this, even Mary. Whether it’s her first or her tenth pregnancy, a woman is filled with uncertainty. But, personally, having a baby taught me so much about the love of God.
First, I learned how to give my cares to Him. The day I received that first hospital bill, I panicked. I had never seen a one-time charge of that size. Based on 1 Peter 5:7, it was the first of many lessons that God taught me about worry: “casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you” ( New King James Version). I physically knelt at my couch, held up the bill, and gave my cares over to Him.
Secondly, I learned how to love naturally. Romans 5:5 explains that “the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost.” Love comes from who we are because of Jesus and not from what we do. I didn’t have to try to love my child. I loved my child because I was her mother. It’s who God made me and empowered me to be.
Third, I learned to let go and rest in Him. I read all the books and pamphlets recommended to me. I had my doctor visits and ultrasounds. I took my vitamins. But bad things can happen, and it’s easy to get scared. When a blood test came back with some questionable numbers, the nurse’s words were frightful. But I know my God and His peace that passes understanding (Phil. 4:7). I knew everything would be okay. And it was.
Finally, I learned how to be led by the Holy Spirit in raising my children. Jesus promises that “the Helper, the Holy Spirit…will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all things that I said to you” (John 14:26, NKJV). In raising kids, we’re not going to do everything perfectly. We will make mistakes. But the Lord gives us such sweet assurance that He will be there, every step of the way, helping us.
When I hear the arguments in favor of a “woman’s right to choose,” I am both sympathetic and saddened. I have extreme sympathy for the woman or young girl who finds herself with an unplanned pregnancy. Two out of three of my own were actually unplanned.
But how could I have justified ending one of my children’s lives? Who would I have chosen? None of the labors were pleasant. All of my children cost money. Yet, it was never my right to choose whether any of them lived or died. And now, all in their twenties, they may even say their lives have just begun.
I have learned so much from having my children. I’m so glad I left the choice of living up to them. I chose life, so they could do the same.
This week on the Gospel Truth broadcast, you can watch teaching that will encourage you in choosing life. If you would like to share your own experiences, please comment below. Please keep in mind the sensitive nature of this subject and be respectful.