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Am I Enough?

I opened my eyes to the surrounding darkness, which was as empty as the response I felt I was getting. Gripping the covers, I used a corner of the bed sheet to wipe my tired eyes, trying not to drift back into the shallow sleep I had come out of. Why isn’t He answering me? I thought. Does He even care about this? Am I supposed to be learning some sort of lesson right now?

In a shaky voice, I attempted yet another plea for answers, staring at my moonlit bedroom wall, hoping my roommate was fast asleep. “God, what is it You want me to do with my life? I’ll do anything You want, but You have to give me something to work with here.”

I was a third-year Charis Bible College student in the School of Media, and somehow the concern about my life’s purpose had escalated into a full-blown, quarter-life crisis. I wanted answers. I wanted to know the steps God wanted me to take, when to take those steps, how to take those steps, and what I could expect out of each step. Was that too much to ask?

“Close your eyes.”

As I looked around the room as if to find out where this mysterious voice was coming from, I heard it again:

“Close your eyes.”

This time I obeyed, feeling a tad silly for acting like I didn’t know who was speaking.

“I want you to picture what your life would look like if you didn’t do Media.”

What?! Was God seriously going to make me walk away from everything that I had worked so hard for? Was that really His plan?

Completely unfazed, the voice continued, “I want you to picture your life if you didn’t do anything for Me—if there were no jobs, no ministries, and no career paths. Picture living your life with just Me. Would I be enough for you?”

In that moment, I realized what a horrible mistake I had made. I had tried to secure myself around a list of dos, don’ts, and absolute guarantees, instead of putting my trust in a faithful God who had only given me His Word. I guess that’s why they call it faith.

In Andrew’s Discover the Keys to Staying Full of God book, the very first key he discussed is to glorify God. Check it out:

Some people place so much value on their marriage, career, and other people’s acceptance that it honestly competes for the worth they’ve placed on the things of God…. Due to this, what the Lord has done in your life has diminished over time…. It’s because you’ve let something else occupy that place of importance in your life that was meant for God alone. (pp. 16 and 20)

As soon as I began to glorify God, putting Him in His rightful place in my life, that mountain of frustration started to melt away. I saw a young girl who was in love with and deeply loved by her Creator. In that moment, I couldn’t imagine anything greater.

In the two years since that experience, God has amazed me time and again with all of the opportunities that He’s brought my way. Whether it was doing a photo shoot in a bread factory in Los Angeles, moving (by myself) to Saint Petersburg, Russia, ministering in a tiny village in central Asia, or becoming a writer for Andrew Wommack Ministries, every step has been an adventure that I could never have planned out on my own.

That night, I lay back down in my bed, thinking about what this life with God might look like. As I finally pulled the covers up over my head, I whispered back, “You’re enough for me. You’re more than enough.”

Do you want to learn more about Discovering the Keys to Staying Full of God? This teaching is available in many formats: CD, DVD, book, study guide, and by television broadcast. If this has encouraged you, share a comment below.