“When I was a little girl, I had recurring dreams of a baby in the womb who was fighting for her life. I could tell this baby was in pain and literally felt her pain and heard her screams. It troubled me, but I let it go for several years. Then somebody told me that my mother had not wanted me and tried to kill me.”
Before Carrie Fischer was born, her mother attempted a first trimester abortion with her in 1968—five years before the infamous Roe vs. Wade Supreme Court decision. Six months later, on June 10, 1969, she had a beautiful baby girl, but not without some troubling consequences: “My mother was in labor for thirty-six hours,” explains Carrie, “and I ended up paralyzed on one side of my face and was deaf in one ear. The doctors were telling my mom that I was never going to be normal, that I would be mentally challenged by age thirteen, living like a vegetable.” Proving the doctors wrong, Carrie went through school making A’s, and B’s and even went on to earn a two-year marketing degree in college.
As a teenager, Carrie confronted her mother about what had happened to her during her mother’s pregnancy. “She lived with a lot of guilt and shame,” recounts Carrie. “It hurt her, especially given the physical effects of how I turned out. She just broke down crying. I just remember being so overwhelmed. I was maybe a little angry, thinking, How could you do that?But those feelings became compassion and love for her. I told her, ‘I love you. I forgive you. I’m glad I’m here.'”
Even though God restored her relationship with her mother, the consequences of what had happened would follow Carrie, bringing their own trials and challenges: “I would go to school and come home, crying every day,” she admits. “In public school, kids would put me in lockers, spit on me, and beat me up—just very unkind stuff. It was hard. I begged my mother not to send me to school.” So, finally, in the eleventh and twelfth grade, she took a job to pay for private school.
“I was so distraught over it that when I got into my early thirties, I said, ‘I can’t do this anymore, God.’ So, I took some anti-depressants, drank a bottle of wine, and went to sleep, hoping I wouldn’t wake up again.” Miraculously, Carrie did wake up the next morning, completely untouched by any of the possible side effects from the night before. “That’s when I knew,” recounts Carrie. “I knew that God had a purpose and a plan for me being here.”
Carrie and her husband of three years live in Houston where they help care for her mother. The incredible and redemptive love of God is evident in the lives of these two women, and continues on today. “I feel that’s what I’m called to do,” informs Carrie. “I want to minister to these women who are hurting and tell them that God loves them and God forgives them.
“For those who have aborted their children, I believe that God has told me I can offer forgiveness to them as an almost aborted child myself. I want you to know that your child loves you, your child forgives you, and that you will see your children again. God also loves you and He forgives you. Don’t ever doubt that.”
Carrie and her husband continue to travel and speak as much as they can, inspiring hope and proclaiming that no matter what you’re going through, life is still precious and every life deserves a chance.