You may not be able to relate to this, but one of the things I’ve struggled with for years is becoming overwhelmed with a certain thing and then just shutting down. In my mind, the scope of it would be just too much to deal with in the moment, so I’d opt to put it off or not to do anything. Instead, I’d just sit back and chill for a while.
Sometimes, a while lasted months.
When I’d eventually get motivated, I’d turn into a machine! I’d feel like I could stay up all night—whatever it took—to get a thing done. I’d be determined, laser-focused, and almost fiery about it. What changed in me was finally seeing that the thing was not so tough after all. I’d gotten my head around it. (Part of me felt a little guilty too.)
However, this wouldn’t last long. Once I finished whatever needed to be done, I’d go right back to chilling. Can anyone relate?
Then one day, I realized the chronic cycle I’d been in. Immediately, I was upset. All the Enemy had to do was tempt me to feel that something was overwhelming, and I would do the rest. Talk about taking chess pieces off the board!
This was a heart issue that I needed to deal with. And I was motivated. What did I do? I did what Andrew teaches in Lessons from David:
“If you can get your heart established, then actions will not be a problem.”
Yeah, but how do I do that?
“Again, Proverbs 23:7 says [that] as a man thinks in his heart, so is he.”
So, I’ve got to think differently. Once I saw this, I began to recognize when I felt overwhelmed, and I would shut down the temptation. I knew if I didn’t change the way I thought, I couldn’t change my heart.
“You are [not] just born with a perfect heart. You have to cultivate this.”
Are you saying that if my heart is perfect, then my actions will be perfect?
“It does not mean that your actions are perfect, but it does mean that [in] your heart, you long for the things of God. You have a personal relationship with God. You are sensitive to God. You are seeking God.”
Okay, I think I got it. And since I’ve been changing the way I think, my heart has been in a better place. I’m happier. Putting off things and “just chilling” never really made me happy. In fact, I was being owned by this vicious cycle. It feels good to have my heart back.
The cool part is, I didn’t lose the fiery motivation I can get about things; I just don’t get it with a sense of guilt.
What motivates you? If it’s not what God has put in your heart, then something else owns you. But I want to encourage you that you can break the vicious cycle. You might try starting with Lessons from David. It’s a character study on a man who had one of the greatest hearts toward God and life. What worked for him will work for you!